It’s their birthday, not an invitation for you to reopen old wounds.

If you’re debating whether or not to send your ex a quick “HBD!” text, let me make this easy for you: Just don’t.

But if you need the long answer, here it is: It’s almost never a good idea. Even relationship experts have mixed feelings about it, but trust me—more often than not, it’s just a bad call.

Now, allow me to get a little blunt here: If you think a “happy birthday” text to your ex is just a harmless, nice thing to do, you are wrong.

It’s not about kindness—it’s about ego. It’s the text equivalent of showing up uninvited to a party just to prove you’re cool with everyone there. Deep down, it’s less about their birthday and more about you wanting to feel like the bigger person.

There is no such thing as a neutral birthday text to an ex. There’s always a hidden subtext, like: “Look at me, I’m so over you that I can send this and be totally chill about it!” or worse, “Maybe this will remind you of what we had.” Spoiler: It will. And probably not in the way you’re hoping.

At best, they’ll respond with a dry “Thanks.” At worst, you’ll spend the rest of the day spiraling, analyzing every possible meaning behind their lack of response (or worse, their overly friendly one). Either way, your ex's birthday should not be the main event of your day.

So here’s the universal rule: Put. The. Phone. Down. If you feel the urge, distract yourself. Throw your phone into a locked drawer. Start a new show. Go for a run. Do literally anything else but text them.

The best gift you can give your ex on their birthday? Silence.

And if they’re a decent human being, they’ll return the favor when it’s your turn.

Case closed.
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